I hate potty training!

If you are grossed out over talking about pee and poop then please don't read this entry!

Potty training is killing me. Yesterday after taking Christian to the potty I went to clean up the kitchen. I put his pull ups on and skipped the pants. I take him into the potty a million times a day so sometimes it is easier to go without the pants. I will never do this again. Christian was playing happily on the couch with Ella sliding down the cushions. A wise mother would have thought that it was a bad idea to slide down the couch cushion with only a pullup on, but since he had just gone on the potty I thought nothing of it. Not even five minutes after taking Christian to the potty he started saying "uh oh, poop." I ran into the other room only to see poop smeared all down the side of the couch. I screamed and carried my messy child into the bathroom all the while in a panic saying, "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" I can handle poop anywhere else, but when it is on my couch I want
to die. I sprayed it with cleaner and went to clean up my very poopy child. Shortly after this Ella entered the bathroom saying "Uh-oh. I touched something." I said, "What did you touch?" She said, "I touched something. Wash my hands." Instantly I knew that she had touched the poopy couch. My furniture and I may not survive this potty training experience.



One night I was home by myself with the kids. I had just finished pottying Christian and was washing his hands. Ella sat down on the potty all by herself and starting peeing. I was such a proud mother thinking that I had such a big girl. Soon after I realized that she had not sat far back enough on the potty and was peeing all over the floor. This wasn't a huge deal and it has definitely happened before. I was still helping Christian so I couldn't get to her as soon as I would have liked. As soon as she was finished she stood up and stepped right into the pee. At that very second the doorbell rang. On any other day I wouldn't have answered it, but I felt the need to add to the chaos so I went to answer it telling Ella not to move an inch because she was still standing in the pee. At the door were a bunch of young women playing the game bigger or better. For those who don't know the game you have to find an object in your house that is either bigger or better than the object that they already have. After they explained the game to me I began worrying that Ella was going to escape from the bathroom and walk all over the carpet with pee soaked feet. I have become slightly OCD about cleaning my house lately, so I couldn't bear the thought. I politely told the young women that my daughter was standing in pee and that I really had to take care of it. They laughed and I am sure they thought I was a party pooper, but what is a mother to do in such a situation!
I am not cut out for this potty training business. Will my kids ever be potty trained? Some days I truly wonder....
I can use any tips that you might have.